Available on:
Unlikely Heroes Series
Master of the Flying Broom
![Picture](/uploads/1/2/4/1/12414378/published/master-of-the-flying-broom-v2.jpg?1638737301)
Kensaro Hatanu’s soul was born the day his master handed him his first sword.
Except Kensaro’s master did not hand him a sword to walk the path of the otana hanji, the sword saints of legend.
His teacher handed Kensaro a broom.
A broom to clean the monastery.
While the other martial ascetics of Guai Lu practiced their physical and spiritual disciplines, Kensaro swept, mopped, and dusted, imagining he was slaying monsters, saving villagers, and meting out justice.
Until the demons came and his broom was called to action.
Master of the Flying Broom is a wuxia and xianxia-inspired noblebright martial arts fantasy of roughly 90,000 words.
Except Kensaro’s master did not hand him a sword to walk the path of the otana hanji, the sword saints of legend.
His teacher handed Kensaro a broom.
A broom to clean the monastery.
While the other martial ascetics of Guai Lu practiced their physical and spiritual disciplines, Kensaro swept, mopped, and dusted, imagining he was slaying monsters, saving villagers, and meting out justice.
Until the demons came and his broom was called to action.
Master of the Flying Broom is a wuxia and xianxia-inspired noblebright martial arts fantasy of roughly 90,000 words.
Demon Hunter
![Picture](/uploads/1/2/4/1/12414378/published/chet-demon-hunter-final.jpg?1638737463)
Chet has a problem.
A few of them in fact.
He’s been kicked out of his order of holy knights. He’s depressed, he’s let himself go, and he has something of an inferiority complex.
Mostly because he wields holy socks to fight demons while his friends use flaming swords, shimmering spears, and holy hand grenades.
Now Sigil, the order of holy knights that threw him out, wants him back because its members are dying and no one can figure out why.
Can Chet pick himself up off the couch long enough to do what other demon hunters can’t?
Only time, and lots of pizza, will tell.
Demon Hunter is a quirky noblebright urban sword and sorcery adventure fantasy of roughly 45,000 words.
A few of them in fact.
He’s been kicked out of his order of holy knights. He’s depressed, he’s let himself go, and he has something of an inferiority complex.
Mostly because he wields holy socks to fight demons while his friends use flaming swords, shimmering spears, and holy hand grenades.
Now Sigil, the order of holy knights that threw him out, wants him back because its members are dying and no one can figure out why.
Can Chet pick himself up off the couch long enough to do what other demon hunters can’t?
Only time, and lots of pizza, will tell.
Demon Hunter is a quirky noblebright urban sword and sorcery adventure fantasy of roughly 45,000 words.
Gnomegeddon
![Picture](/uploads/1/2/4/1/12414378/published/gnomegeddon-ebook-cover.jpg?1638737723)
Arcwhistle Goldpulley has everything a gnome technowizard could want and more.
He’s just successfully defended his after-post thesis on harnessing the metamagical residuals of energetic creation and destruction, along with a dramatic demonstration of an application of his theory, one which only blew up two learning halls on campus, and completed his formal education as a master archmage.
He is a successful paratechnologist, a gnomish master of blending magic and science, often to explosive effect.
He has developed and licensed many significant inventions ranging from autonomous eyebrow trimmers to anti-light anti-sunglasses.
He has contributed significantly to several branches of metamagical thought and theory and continues to do so.
He is, in short, a gnome who has it all.
But, after graduating with honors more times than he cares to count from TINKER, the Tellanon Institute of Noetic Knowledge, Education, and Research, Arcwhistle is faced with a problem, one which has no easy answer.
What is he going to do with the rest of his life?
How is he going to live a life with meaning outside school?
What is he to do beyond his lab and his research?
Where’s the spark?
That is until he discovers a new opportunity... the life of a secret agent gnome.
Armed with his paratechnological skills and a not-so-secret identity, can Arcwhistle thwart the efforts of ANGST, a group of gnome terrorists Abyss-bent on spreading universal entropy, before they destroy Tellanon, the seat of paratechnological society, undermine gnomish civilization, and ruin dessert for everyone?
Gnomeggedon is a quirky, humorous high-fantasy story set in the larger Ea’ae macroverse.
No gnomes were harmed in the writing of this book.
He’s just successfully defended his after-post thesis on harnessing the metamagical residuals of energetic creation and destruction, along with a dramatic demonstration of an application of his theory, one which only blew up two learning halls on campus, and completed his formal education as a master archmage.
He is a successful paratechnologist, a gnomish master of blending magic and science, often to explosive effect.
He has developed and licensed many significant inventions ranging from autonomous eyebrow trimmers to anti-light anti-sunglasses.
He has contributed significantly to several branches of metamagical thought and theory and continues to do so.
He is, in short, a gnome who has it all.
But, after graduating with honors more times than he cares to count from TINKER, the Tellanon Institute of Noetic Knowledge, Education, and Research, Arcwhistle is faced with a problem, one which has no easy answer.
What is he going to do with the rest of his life?
How is he going to live a life with meaning outside school?
What is he to do beyond his lab and his research?
Where’s the spark?
That is until he discovers a new opportunity... the life of a secret agent gnome.
Armed with his paratechnological skills and a not-so-secret identity, can Arcwhistle thwart the efforts of ANGST, a group of gnome terrorists Abyss-bent on spreading universal entropy, before they destroy Tellanon, the seat of paratechnological society, undermine gnomish civilization, and ruin dessert for everyone?
Gnomeggedon is a quirky, humorous high-fantasy story set in the larger Ea’ae macroverse.
No gnomes were harmed in the writing of this book.
Chronicles of the Fists Series
Shadow's Rise
![Picture](/uploads/1/2/4/1/12414378/shadows-rise-cover-second-edition-joseph-j-bailey-large-monk.jpg)
Yip Chi Chuan, a young martial and spiritual ascetic, must flee as the only
home he has ever known, the ancient monastery of the Priests of K’un Lun, is
destroyed by a newly ascendant extradimensional evil. Cast out and alone,
Yip strikes out on a quest spanning the breadth of his home world of Ea’ae and
into the greater macroverse beyond in an attempt to unseat an all-consuming
Darkness rooted in his once vaunted Order’s distant past.
Will Yip, the last of his kind to walk the wide world beyond his fallen sanctuary,
succeed where his mighty brethren failed in Ages past?
Unfortunately for Yip, the answer appears all too clear…. Without the guidance
and teachings of his lineage, pursued by malevolent supernatural agents of the
Cabal, unable to fully defend himself in a world steeped in magic, his own quest
may fail before it ever begins.
Unfazed by his own limitations, guided by his inner vision and direct experience
of the energies of life, the radiant chi suffusing and enlivening the world all
around, he is determined to triumph where others have faltered.
To win forward, he will need help… but first he must survive.
A blend of Eastern mysticism and Western fantasy, Shadow’s Rise is the first book of the Chronicles of the Fists, an epic trilogy recounting Yip’s adventures against all odds.
home he has ever known, the ancient monastery of the Priests of K’un Lun, is
destroyed by a newly ascendant extradimensional evil. Cast out and alone,
Yip strikes out on a quest spanning the breadth of his home world of Ea’ae and
into the greater macroverse beyond in an attempt to unseat an all-consuming
Darkness rooted in his once vaunted Order’s distant past.
Will Yip, the last of his kind to walk the wide world beyond his fallen sanctuary,
succeed where his mighty brethren failed in Ages past?
Unfortunately for Yip, the answer appears all too clear…. Without the guidance
and teachings of his lineage, pursued by malevolent supernatural agents of the
Cabal, unable to fully defend himself in a world steeped in magic, his own quest
may fail before it ever begins.
Unfazed by his own limitations, guided by his inner vision and direct experience
of the energies of life, the radiant chi suffusing and enlivening the world all
around, he is determined to triumph where others have faltered.
To win forward, he will need help… but first he must survive.
A blend of Eastern mysticism and Western fantasy, Shadow’s Rise is the first book of the Chronicles of the Fists, an epic trilogy recounting Yip’s adventures against all odds.
Shadow's Descent
![Picture](/uploads/1/2/4/1/12414378/shadows-descent-cover-second-edition-joseph-j-bailey-large-monk.jpg)
Their world assaulted by an extradimensional invasion of life-devouring Shadow, Yip and his companions must find a way to halt the incursion before the Cabal and their loathsome allies drain the living energies of their planet, destroying all life and potential on Ea’ae.
Aided by Aroganji the Fang Shi, master of the elements of change, Wrindanneth Priest of Maeth Onai, wielder of divine and arcane magics, and Slate the Dwarven axe-wielding Bor’Banna, imbued by the powers of the All-Father’s first forge, Yip ventures
to Taerris’thule, the City of the Fallen Gods, in an effort to restore the seal of Eldre’gheu, one of the fourteen seals protecting Ea’ae from extraplanar intrusion.
Shadow’s Descent is the second book of the Chronicles of the Fists, an epic fantasy trilogy recounting Yip and his friends’ adventures against the forces of Darkness.
Aided by Aroganji the Fang Shi, master of the elements of change, Wrindanneth Priest of Maeth Onai, wielder of divine and arcane magics, and Slate the Dwarven axe-wielding Bor’Banna, imbued by the powers of the All-Father’s first forge, Yip ventures
to Taerris’thule, the City of the Fallen Gods, in an effort to restore the seal of Eldre’gheu, one of the fourteen seals protecting Ea’ae from extraplanar intrusion.
Shadow’s Descent is the second book of the Chronicles of the Fists, an epic fantasy trilogy recounting Yip and his friends’ adventures against the forces of Darkness.
Lords of Light
![Picture](/uploads/1/2/4/1/12414378/lords-of-light-cover-second-edition-joseph-j-bailey-large-monk.jpg)
Continually harried by agents of Darkness, their quest to restore the fourteen seals ensuring Ea’ae’s safety from extradimensional incursion not yet complete, Yip, Aroganji, Wrindanneth, and Slate race against the Cabal to secure their world’s future.
With little hope for success, unable to strike directly against the Cabal, the Four must find a way to halt the Shadow’s advance forever.
Lords of Light is the third and final book of the Chronicles of the Fists, an epic fantasy trilogy recounting Yip and his allies’ adventures to bring hope to a world gripped by despair.
With little hope for success, unable to strike directly against the Cabal, the Four must find a way to halt the Shadow’s advance forever.
Lords of Light is the third and final book of the Chronicles of the Fists, an epic fantasy trilogy recounting Yip and his allies’ adventures to bring hope to a world gripped by despair.
The Chronicles of the Fists Trilogy Boxed Set
![Picture](/uploads/1/2/4/1/12414378/published/8206174.png?1564710025)
Complete Edition Containing Shadow’s Rise, Shadow’s Descent, and Lords of Light!
Yip Chi Chuan, a young martial and spiritual ascetic, must flee as the only home he has ever known, the ancient monastery of the Priests of K’un Lun, is destroyed by a newly ascendant extradimensional evil. Cast out and alone, Yip strikes out on a quest spanning the breadth of his home world of Ea’ae and into the greater macroverse beyond in an attempt to unseat an all-consuming Darkness rooted in his once vaunted order’s distant past.
Will Yip, the last of his kind to walk the wide world beyond his fallen sanctuary, succeed where his mighty brethren failed in ages past?
Unfortunately for Yip, the answer appears all too clear… Without the guidance and teachings of his lineage, pursued by malevolent supernatural agents of the Cabal, unable to fully defend himself in a world steeped in magic, his quest may fail before it ever begins.
Unfazed by his limitations, guided by his inner vision and direct experience of the energies of life, the radiant chi suffusing and enlivening the world all around, he is determined to triumph where others have faltered.
To win forward, he will need help…but first he must survive.
A blend of Western fantasy and Eastern martial arts and mysticism, the Chronicles of the Fists is an epic trilogy recounting Yip’s adventures against all odds.
Yip Chi Chuan, a young martial and spiritual ascetic, must flee as the only home he has ever known, the ancient monastery of the Priests of K’un Lun, is destroyed by a newly ascendant extradimensional evil. Cast out and alone, Yip strikes out on a quest spanning the breadth of his home world of Ea’ae and into the greater macroverse beyond in an attempt to unseat an all-consuming Darkness rooted in his once vaunted order’s distant past.
Will Yip, the last of his kind to walk the wide world beyond his fallen sanctuary, succeed where his mighty brethren failed in ages past?
Unfortunately for Yip, the answer appears all too clear… Without the guidance and teachings of his lineage, pursued by malevolent supernatural agents of the Cabal, unable to fully defend himself in a world steeped in magic, his quest may fail before it ever begins.
Unfazed by his limitations, guided by his inner vision and direct experience of the energies of life, the radiant chi suffusing and enlivening the world all around, he is determined to triumph where others have faltered.
To win forward, he will need help…but first he must survive.
A blend of Western fantasy and Eastern martial arts and mysticism, the Chronicles of the Fists is an epic trilogy recounting Yip’s adventures against all odds.
Exceptional Advice for Adventurers Everywhere Series
Mulogo's Treatise on Wizardry
![Picture](/uploads/1/2/4/1/12414378/published/treatise-on-wizardry-cover-black-one-subtitle-updated-w-smaller-alchemical-symbol.jpg?1564708334)
So you want to be a wizard?
You know being a wizard is not all quests filled with high adventure, finding priceless treasure, warm adulation and reward, and uncovering newfound knowledge?
You really want to be ensorcelled by fell magics, accosted by boisterous knights, enchanted by hostile magicians, waylaid by villainous rogues, attacked by creatures from the nether realms, cursed by dread warlocks, and worse? And those on some of your better days?
Seriously?
Are you crazy?
If you are (crazy, not serious… serious is optional), then Mulogo is the wizard for you and Mulogo’s Treatise on Wizardry is the guide you’ll live by!
Mulogo’s Treatise on Wizardry provides a concise summary in plain (well, mostly plain) language for wizards who wish to have a manual for survival in a harsh world where people (and much nastier) want to kill you and take your stuff (usually in that order).
You know being a wizard is not all quests filled with high adventure, finding priceless treasure, warm adulation and reward, and uncovering newfound knowledge?
You really want to be ensorcelled by fell magics, accosted by boisterous knights, enchanted by hostile magicians, waylaid by villainous rogues, attacked by creatures from the nether realms, cursed by dread warlocks, and worse? And those on some of your better days?
Seriously?
Are you crazy?
If you are (crazy, not serious… serious is optional), then Mulogo is the wizard for you and Mulogo’s Treatise on Wizardry is the guide you’ll live by!
Mulogo’s Treatise on Wizardry provides a concise summary in plain (well, mostly plain) language for wizards who wish to have a manual for survival in a harsh world where people (and much nastier) want to kill you and take your stuff (usually in that order).
With varied subject topics ranging from Allies and Whether to Buy Them, On Reducing Risk (and Capitalizing on the Failure of Others), Protecting Yourself From Yourself, How to Minimize the Curiosity of Others, and When Griffins Attack, Mulogo’s Treatise on Wizardry will allow you to thrive… but first you have to survive.
Hopefully you’ll enjoy a few laughs along the way. (1)
Scribe’s Notes:
1. Mulogo’s Treatise on Wizardry is a largely farcical text making light of wizardly conventions within the larger fantasy, gaming, and roleplaying traditions, assorted related communities and offshoots, memes, and various cultural derivatives. (2)
2. If you do not like satire, or laughing, this book is not for you. (3)
3. Perhaps a more exciting tome like Navel Lint, Its Permutations and Harvesting would be more to your liking. (4)
4. Mulogo does not condone laughing.
Hopefully you’ll enjoy a few laughs along the way. (1)
Scribe’s Notes:
1. Mulogo’s Treatise on Wizardry is a largely farcical text making light of wizardly conventions within the larger fantasy, gaming, and roleplaying traditions, assorted related communities and offshoots, memes, and various cultural derivatives. (2)
2. If you do not like satire, or laughing, this book is not for you. (3)
3. Perhaps a more exciting tome like Navel Lint, Its Permutations and Harvesting would be more to your liking. (4)
4. Mulogo does not condone laughing.
Everygnome's Guide to Paratechnology
![Picture](/uploads/1/2/4/1/12414378/1015062.jpg)
Are you a Gnome?
Do you want to be one?
Do you know what one is?
Do you have magical, technical, or any other talent whatsoever? (1)
Do you pine after a non-holographic Omnicron, make design sketches of transmorphic actionable multidimensional exo-robotic systems, create novel subroutines for synthetic intelligences, tinker with Dwarf-proof beard mowers, imagine a grand unified theory of life, the universe, and facial hair, or take apart and modify negentropy cannons for fun and amusement?
Do you like root vegetables?
If you answered yes to one of these questions (2), then you may have what it takes to be a Paratechnologist, a wondrous master of the uniquely Gnomish art of blending magic and technology!
Within this concise guide you will find answers to many of the questions you do not have about becoming a Paratechnologist. (3)
With enlightening topics ranging from Two Wrongs Often Make A Right, What Doesn’t Kill You Can Also Maim, Destroy, and Disfigure, Moving Beyond Clockwork Devices, and How to Avoid Mustache Entanglement, Everygnome’s Guide to Paratechnology has more information than you care to know about Paratechnology. (4)
If, on the absolutely minor chance you are interested in Gnomish technowizardry (5), then Everygnome’s Guide to
Paratechnology will be your easily disposed of indispensible guide to embarking upon the often smoldering, explosive,
nonsensical, and somewhat erratic path of the Paratechnologist.
Notes to self (and others):
1. Real or imagined.
2. Or any other.
3. Who would?
4. Assuming you actually cared about Paratechnology in the first place.
5. Or are interested in making fun of those who are.
Do you want to be one?
Do you know what one is?
Do you have magical, technical, or any other talent whatsoever? (1)
Do you pine after a non-holographic Omnicron, make design sketches of transmorphic actionable multidimensional exo-robotic systems, create novel subroutines for synthetic intelligences, tinker with Dwarf-proof beard mowers, imagine a grand unified theory of life, the universe, and facial hair, or take apart and modify negentropy cannons for fun and amusement?
Do you like root vegetables?
If you answered yes to one of these questions (2), then you may have what it takes to be a Paratechnologist, a wondrous master of the uniquely Gnomish art of blending magic and technology!
Within this concise guide you will find answers to many of the questions you do not have about becoming a Paratechnologist. (3)
With enlightening topics ranging from Two Wrongs Often Make A Right, What Doesn’t Kill You Can Also Maim, Destroy, and Disfigure, Moving Beyond Clockwork Devices, and How to Avoid Mustache Entanglement, Everygnome’s Guide to Paratechnology has more information than you care to know about Paratechnology. (4)
If, on the absolutely minor chance you are interested in Gnomish technowizardry (5), then Everygnome’s Guide to
Paratechnology will be your easily disposed of indispensible guide to embarking upon the often smoldering, explosive,
nonsensical, and somewhat erratic path of the Paratechnologist.
Notes to self (and others):
1. Real or imagined.
2. Or any other.
3. Who would?
4. Assuming you actually cared about Paratechnology in the first place.
5. Or are interested in making fun of those who are.
Nemesis - A Good Guide for Bad Guys
![Picture](/uploads/1/2/4/1/12414378/6470337.jpg)
So you want to be a villain?
You know being a villain isn’t all fun-filled romps in dank, lightless tombs, incendiary encounters with intellectually stunted heroes, joyously crushing the hopes and dreams of unsuspecting innocents, accumulating vast hordes of ill-gotten wealth, and advancing your agenda on a world unappreciative of your greatness? (1)
You really want to be hunted by unethical vigilantes(2), chased by grown adults wearing skintight suits, ostracized from (in)decent society, forced to forge ahead in a universe largely against your relentless pursuit of self-interest, and relegated to a life of bad hygiene and poor fashion choices?
Have you considered another career?
Ever?
If not, then villainy is for you and Nemesis – A Good Guide for Bad Guys is the manual you’ll live(3) by!
Nemesis – A Good Guide for Bad Guys provides a wealth of information you do not wish to have on becoming a villain and succeeding in the kingdom of evil.
With illuminating topics ranging from The Villainy of Villainy, On Accepting Advice and Recognizing Terrible Ideas, How to Keep Your Secret Plans Secret, Horrible Haircuts, The Humility of Arrogance, The Good Guys Don’t Always Win, and Happily Never After, Nemesis – A Good Guide for Bad Guys has more information than you can hope to want on being a villain. (4)
If, on the assuredly infinitesimal possibility you have not yet come to your senses about becoming a villain, then Nemesis – A Good Guide for Bad Guys will be your highly impractical pragmatic guide to commencing upon the often volatile, failure-laden, frustrating, dangerous, and short-lived career of the evildoer, archrival, supervillain, antihero, fell overlord, or nemesis. (5)
Read this if you value your life:
1. Ok, maybe it is.
2. Probably your extended family.
3. Or die.
4. Only a minute portion actually being practical.
5. You have been warned.
You know being a villain isn’t all fun-filled romps in dank, lightless tombs, incendiary encounters with intellectually stunted heroes, joyously crushing the hopes and dreams of unsuspecting innocents, accumulating vast hordes of ill-gotten wealth, and advancing your agenda on a world unappreciative of your greatness? (1)
You really want to be hunted by unethical vigilantes(2), chased by grown adults wearing skintight suits, ostracized from (in)decent society, forced to forge ahead in a universe largely against your relentless pursuit of self-interest, and relegated to a life of bad hygiene and poor fashion choices?
Have you considered another career?
Ever?
If not, then villainy is for you and Nemesis – A Good Guide for Bad Guys is the manual you’ll live(3) by!
Nemesis – A Good Guide for Bad Guys provides a wealth of information you do not wish to have on becoming a villain and succeeding in the kingdom of evil.
With illuminating topics ranging from The Villainy of Villainy, On Accepting Advice and Recognizing Terrible Ideas, How to Keep Your Secret Plans Secret, Horrible Haircuts, The Humility of Arrogance, The Good Guys Don’t Always Win, and Happily Never After, Nemesis – A Good Guide for Bad Guys has more information than you can hope to want on being a villain. (4)
If, on the assuredly infinitesimal possibility you have not yet come to your senses about becoming a villain, then Nemesis – A Good Guide for Bad Guys will be your highly impractical pragmatic guide to commencing upon the often volatile, failure-laden, frustrating, dangerous, and short-lived career of the evildoer, archrival, supervillain, antihero, fell overlord, or nemesis. (5)
Read this if you value your life:
1. Ok, maybe it is.
2. Probably your extended family.
3. Or die.
4. Only a minute portion actually being practical.
5. You have been warned.
Confessions of an Angry Dwarf - A Dwarven Guide to Dwarfdom
![Picture](/uploads/1/2/4/1/12414378/5896904.jpg)
Just because you’re short, crotchety, seldom bathe, like to drink, and have a beard doesn’t make you a Dwarf. (1)
To see how much you differ from the typical (2) Dwarf, you have but to read Confessions of an Angry Dwarf. If you still think you’re a Dwarf after reading this concise guide to Dwarfdom, then you will not be the only one full of surprise.
Confessions of an Angry Dwarf will correct (3) any (4) misperceptions you may have about the ancient and noble traditions of Dwarfdom.
If you’re a bit more certain about your identity but have ever wanted to explore the inner workings of the Dwarven psyche (5,6), then Confessions of an Angry Dwarf will be your gateway to a world probably better left unvisited.
With enlightening chapters ranging from All that Glimmers Might be Gold, Allies and Whether ta Tolerate ‘Em, When NOT ta Wear Full Plate, Tha Fine Art o’ Belchin’, Grabbin’ tha Dragon by tha Horns, When Yer Beard Catches Fire, On Learnin’ ta
Growl, One Good Thumpin’ Deserves Another to On Never Conformin’ ta Expectation, Confessions of an Angry Dwarf delivers a veritable treasure trove of almost useful information on realizing one’s potential as a Dwarf.
If, on the assuredly remote possibility you still maintain some interest in Dwarves, then Confessions of an Angry Dwarf will be your irrefutably refutable guide to Dwarfdom and Dwarven endeavor. (7)
Observations from a talking axe:
1. These qualities will generally draw comparisons to things other than Dwarves.
2. Or atypical in the case of Urdaen “Flamebeard” Doomhammer.
3. More likely further.
4. Or many.
5. Such as it is.
6. Brave soul that you are.
7. Now go grab your axe, don your armor, and start reading!
To see how much you differ from the typical (2) Dwarf, you have but to read Confessions of an Angry Dwarf. If you still think you’re a Dwarf after reading this concise guide to Dwarfdom, then you will not be the only one full of surprise.
Confessions of an Angry Dwarf will correct (3) any (4) misperceptions you may have about the ancient and noble traditions of Dwarfdom.
If you’re a bit more certain about your identity but have ever wanted to explore the inner workings of the Dwarven psyche (5,6), then Confessions of an Angry Dwarf will be your gateway to a world probably better left unvisited.
With enlightening chapters ranging from All that Glimmers Might be Gold, Allies and Whether ta Tolerate ‘Em, When NOT ta Wear Full Plate, Tha Fine Art o’ Belchin’, Grabbin’ tha Dragon by tha Horns, When Yer Beard Catches Fire, On Learnin’ ta
Growl, One Good Thumpin’ Deserves Another to On Never Conformin’ ta Expectation, Confessions of an Angry Dwarf delivers a veritable treasure trove of almost useful information on realizing one’s potential as a Dwarf.
If, on the assuredly remote possibility you still maintain some interest in Dwarves, then Confessions of an Angry Dwarf will be your irrefutably refutable guide to Dwarfdom and Dwarven endeavor. (7)
Observations from a talking axe:
1. These qualities will generally draw comparisons to things other than Dwarves.
2. Or atypical in the case of Urdaen “Flamebeard” Doomhammer.
3. More likely further.
4. Or many.
5. Such as it is.
6. Brave soul that you are.
7. Now go grab your axe, don your armor, and start reading!
Exceptional Advice for Adventurers Everywhere - B0xed Set
![Picture](/uploads/1/2/4/1/12414378/published/eaae-series-3d-box-set-cover-no-white-border.png?1564793860)
The Exceptional Advice for Adventurers Everywhere series presents a range of proven (1) advice for professions that don't exist. (2)
This complete edition includes all four novellas in the Exceptional Advice for Adventurers Everywhere tetralogy.
Included are:
Mulogo's Treatise on Wizardry:
Mulogo's Treatise provides a concise summary in plain (well, mostly plain) language for wizards who wish to have a manual for surviving in a harsh world where people (and much nastier) want to kill you and take your stuff (usually in that order). (4)
Everygnome's Guide to Paratechnology:
Within this concise guide you will find answers to many of the questions you do not have about becoming a Paratechnologist (5), a wondrous master of the uniquely Gnomish art of blending magic and technology!
Nemesis - A Good Guide for Bad Guys:
Nemesis offers a wealth of information you do not wish to know on becoming a villain and succeeding in the kingdom of evil. (6)
Confessions of an Angry Dwarf:
If you have ever wanted to explore the inner workings of the Dwarven psyche (8), then Confessions of an Angry Dwarf will be your gateway to a world probably better left unvisited.
Adventurer's Notes:
1. Until disproven.
2. No matter how much you may want for them to be real. (3)
3. Which should in no way limit your enjoyment of them.
4. Thankfully, the guide applies equally well when your enemies could care less about taking your stuff.
5. Who would?
6. If you have ever been frustrated by the decision-making of villains in literature or film, then this is the guide for you. (7)
7. Unless, of course, it isn't.
8. Brave soul that you are.
This complete edition includes all four novellas in the Exceptional Advice for Adventurers Everywhere tetralogy.
Included are:
Mulogo's Treatise on Wizardry:
Mulogo's Treatise provides a concise summary in plain (well, mostly plain) language for wizards who wish to have a manual for surviving in a harsh world where people (and much nastier) want to kill you and take your stuff (usually in that order). (4)
Everygnome's Guide to Paratechnology:
Within this concise guide you will find answers to many of the questions you do not have about becoming a Paratechnologist (5), a wondrous master of the uniquely Gnomish art of blending magic and technology!
Nemesis - A Good Guide for Bad Guys:
Nemesis offers a wealth of information you do not wish to know on becoming a villain and succeeding in the kingdom of evil. (6)
Confessions of an Angry Dwarf:
If you have ever wanted to explore the inner workings of the Dwarven psyche (8), then Confessions of an Angry Dwarf will be your gateway to a world probably better left unvisited.
Adventurer's Notes:
1. Until disproven.
2. No matter how much you may want for them to be real. (3)
3. Which should in no way limit your enjoyment of them.
4. Thankfully, the guide applies equally well when your enemies could care less about taking your stuff.
5. Who would?
6. If you have ever been frustrated by the decision-making of villains in literature or film, then this is the guide for you. (7)
7. Unless, of course, it isn't.
8. Brave soul that you are.
Spellslinger Chronicles Series
Infernal Fire: Legends of the Wild Weird West (Spellslinger Chronicles Book 1)
No one should ever come between a man's family and his guns.
Not if they want to live. Not even a demon. Or a demonic horde. Especially when those guns belong to a spellslinger. The demons who killed his father had a death wish, for Koren D'uene is a ja'lel, a gun knight, and his is the job of granting wishes. His guns spoke, and demons fell. Infernal Fire is a weird western, a Wild West-inspired fantasy adventure novel of roughly 50,000 words. Reading order:
|
Guns' Ghosts
![Picture](/uploads/1/2/4/1/12414378/published/guns-ghosts-ebook-cover.jpg?1564710850)
No one should ever come between a man's family and his guns.
Not if they want to live.
Not even a sorcerer supreme.
Or an undead horde.
Especially when those guns belong to a spellslinger.
The wizard who opened his world to the invading demonic horde had a death wish.
Koren D'uene is a ja'lel, a gun knight, and his is the job of granting wishes.
His guns spoke and infernals fell.
Guns' Ghosts is a weird western, a Wild West-inspired fantasy adventure novel of roughly 35,000 words.
Reading order:
Not if they want to live.
Not even a sorcerer supreme.
Or an undead horde.
Especially when those guns belong to a spellslinger.
The wizard who opened his world to the invading demonic horde had a death wish.
Koren D'uene is a ja'lel, a gun knight, and his is the job of granting wishes.
His guns spoke and infernals fell.
Guns' Ghosts is a weird western, a Wild West-inspired fantasy adventure novel of roughly 35,000 words.
Reading order:
- Infernal Fire is book 1 of the Spellslinger Chronicles.
- Guns' Ghosts is book 2 of the Spellslinger Chronicles.
- Spellslinger is book 3 of the Spellslinger Chronicles.
Spellslinger: Legends of the Wild, Weird West
![Picture](/uploads/1/2/4/1/12414378/2081552.jpg)
No one should ever come between a man's family and his guns.
Not if they want to live.
Not even a dragon.
Especially when those guns belong to a spellslinger.
The dragon who had killed his brother had a death wish.
Koren D'uene is a ja'lel, a gun knight, and his is the job of granting wishes.
His guns spoke and the world listened.
Spellslinger is a Wild West-inspired fantasy novel of roughly 40,000 words.
Not if they want to live.
Not even a dragon.
Especially when those guns belong to a spellslinger.
The dragon who had killed his brother had a death wish.
Koren D'uene is a ja'lel, a gun knight, and his is the job of granting wishes.
His guns spoke and the world listened.
Spellslinger is a Wild West-inspired fantasy novel of roughly 40,000 words.
Orc PI Series
Grak - Gnomercy
![Picture](/uploads/1/2/4/1/12414378/published/grak-gnomercy-ebook-cover-lower-res_1.jpg?1564710845)
After saving the spaceways by choking a ship-devouring demon with his fists before going on vacation to watch the Macroversal Wizarding Championships, Grak returns home to find the city of Alyon in turmoil.
Or at least mildly disturbed.
Citizens are disappearing.
And the ones vanishing just so happen to be Grak's friends.
Hounded by dimension-hopping ningnome assassins, Grak must track down his friends before they disappear permanently.
Grak - Gnomercy is a quirky supernatural detective fantasy novel of roughly 50,000 words.
Or at least mildly disturbed.
Citizens are disappearing.
And the ones vanishing just so happen to be Grak's friends.
Hounded by dimension-hopping ningnome assassins, Grak must track down his friends before they disappear permanently.
Grak - Gnomercy is a quirky supernatural detective fantasy novel of roughly 50,000 words.
Grak - Orc on Vacation
After saving the city of Alyon from an outburst of rampaging mutagenic monsters and the gnomish terrorist organization that started the outbreak, Grak needs a vacation.
Something grand. Something like attending the Macroversal Wizarding Championships. When the city's Paratechnological leaders offer Grak the vacation of a lifetime, the chance to see the Wizarding championships in person, he jumps at the opportunity. The only problem is that Grak has to stop a ship-devouring demon along the way. Grak - Orc on Vacation is a supernatural detective fantasy novel of roughly 50,000 words. |
Grak - Private Instigator
The city of Alyon is in trouble.
Its citizens are turning into monsters. Not the good kind of monsters—terrifying, bloodthirsty, flesh-rending, citizen-killing monsters. When Grak’s favorite barkeep tells him that he will get a lifetime supply of free alcohol if he can figure out why the bar’s patrons are disappearing, Grak is on the case! Grak – Private Instigator is a supernatural detective fantasy novel of roughly 50,000 words. |
Legacy of the Blade Series
Stone Singer - Legacy of the Blade Book 3
![Picture](/uploads/1/2/4/1/12414378/stone-singer-ecover-low-res_1.jpg?244)
Heaven has fallen.
The legions of Chaos have overrun the world.
Uërth is in ruins.
With the Heavenly Host’s fall, Angel Swords rained from the heavens, littering the world in what was.
Only the most honorable and purest of heart are able to take up the Angel Swords and wield them against the throngs of Chaos. These mighty Empyrean Knights are all that stands between Uërth and annihilation.
Born in a secret enclave safe from demonic depredations, Ilya has Chosen.
She has Chosen to leave her life of security for one on Uërth, despite all its risks.
Armed only with her Voice, a runic staff, and her training as a Singer, she must venture out into the desolation after the Fall.
Now she just has to survive long enough to make that Choice worthwhile.
And make a difference wherever she is able.
In spite of finding herself in a world overrun by demons.
The legions of Chaos have overrun the world.
Uërth is in ruins.
With the Heavenly Host’s fall, Angel Swords rained from the heavens, littering the world in what was.
Only the most honorable and purest of heart are able to take up the Angel Swords and wield them against the throngs of Chaos. These mighty Empyrean Knights are all that stands between Uërth and annihilation.
Born in a secret enclave safe from demonic depredations, Ilya has Chosen.
She has Chosen to leave her life of security for one on Uërth, despite all its risks.
Armed only with her Voice, a runic staff, and her training as a Singer, she must venture out into the desolation after the Fall.
Now she just has to survive long enough to make that Choice worthwhile.
And make a difference wherever she is able.
In spite of finding herself in a world overrun by demons.
Wild Mage - Legacy of the Blade Book 2
Heaven has fallen.
The legions of Chaos have overrun the world. Uërth is in ruins. With the Heavenly Host’s fall, Angel Swords rained from the heavens, littering the world in what was. Only the most honorable and purest of heart are able to take up the Angel Swords and wield them against the throngs of Chaos. These mighty Empyrean Knights are all that stands between Uërth and annihilation. Maeraeth is neither a hero nor a great warrior. Nor does he wish to become an Empyrean Knight. He just wants to be left alone with his studies. And not be killed by demons. But, with the destruction of the Chaos Gate, Uërth may have a chance at redemption. If the hordes of Chaos can be contained and if no more portals to the Abyss are created. Maeraeth’s teacher, Master Nomba, has other plans for him. Plans that involve both containing demons and preventing their arrival. So much for his studies. And not being killed by demons. |
Soul Stealer - Legacy of the Blade
Heaven has fallen.
The legions of Chaos have overrun the world. Uërth is in ruins. With the Heavenly Host’s fall, Angel Swords rained from the heavens, littering the world in what was. Only the most honorable and purest of heart are able to take up the Angel Swords and wield them against the throngs of Chaos. These mighty Empyrean Knights are all that stand between Uërth and annihilation. Saedeus is neither pure of heart nor honorable. Nor does he wish to wield an Angel Sword. He just wants to be left alone with his mushrooms. And his pet rock. But he might not have a choice. When he inadvertently takes the soul of a dying Empyrean Knight into himself, his world, and his obligations, grow forever larger. With the help of his pet rock, the spirit of a heavenly knight, and the sword of a fallen angel, he might be able to make all the difference. If he doesn’t die first. |
Short Stories
Zombies Forever
![Picture](/uploads/1/2/4/1/12414378/published/zombies-forever-generic.jpg?1564793247)
What do all undead have in common...across all genres and stories?
The obvious answer is they are dead.
It's just how they became zombies that varies.
Zombies are also gruesome, bloodthirsty killing machines, even if some of
these machines are more efficient than others.
Another commonality is that all undead have an insatiable appetite for human
flesh, even if this flesh does them no good and most of it just falls out of their
mouths or assorted holes in their bodies.
Further, all undead are in various states of decay or damage. But, whether
bloodied, broken, or rotting, the undead's rates of movement (and attack) are
not consistent.
But, beyond these superficial traits, what else do zombies have in common?
What else makes a zombie a zombie?
The answer you need to know is this....
All zombies, no matter the genre or source, never, ever stop.
Despite all reason, despite all laws to the contrary, zombies never quit or tire.
What would a world with zombies be like, a world where the undead's drive to
eat and kill could never be slaked and their motion never stopped?
Perhaps this world would be a utopia.
And not just for the zombies.
Zombies Forever is a short story of roughly five thousand words.
The obvious answer is they are dead.
It's just how they became zombies that varies.
Zombies are also gruesome, bloodthirsty killing machines, even if some of
these machines are more efficient than others.
Another commonality is that all undead have an insatiable appetite for human
flesh, even if this flesh does them no good and most of it just falls out of their
mouths or assorted holes in their bodies.
Further, all undead are in various states of decay or damage. But, whether
bloodied, broken, or rotting, the undead's rates of movement (and attack) are
not consistent.
But, beyond these superficial traits, what else do zombies have in common?
What else makes a zombie a zombie?
The answer you need to know is this....
All zombies, no matter the genre or source, never, ever stop.
Despite all reason, despite all laws to the contrary, zombies never quit or tire.
What would a world with zombies be like, a world where the undead's drive to
eat and kill could never be slaked and their motion never stopped?
Perhaps this world would be a utopia.
And not just for the zombies.
Zombies Forever is a short story of roughly five thousand words.
Out of the Box
![Picture](/uploads/1/2/4/1/12414378/published/out-of-the-box-generic.jpg?1564793009)
James Halloway and Ranjeet Srinivasa are the founders of Aethereum Enterprises, the world's leading technology firm.
Jim and Ranjeet have spent their careers designing, building, and selling novel machine cores and upgraded neural learning programming suites, creating smart software to improve or supplant human capabilities, and inventing innovative analytical solutions.
But these businesses are but means to this end.
What they really want is to create a computer that can produce novel insights and understanding, a machine capable of generating new thoughts.
And not just any thoughts, but thoughts of value, of true substance.
But what would happen if they did?
Out of the Box is a short story of roughly six thousand words.
Jim and Ranjeet have spent their careers designing, building, and selling novel machine cores and upgraded neural learning programming suites, creating smart software to improve or supplant human capabilities, and inventing innovative analytical solutions.
But these businesses are but means to this end.
What they really want is to create a computer that can produce novel insights and understanding, a machine capable of generating new thoughts.
And not just any thoughts, but thoughts of value, of true substance.
But what would happen if they did?
Out of the Box is a short story of roughly six thousand words.
Tales of the Fallen
![Picture](/uploads/1/2/4/1/12414378/editor/tales-of-the-fallen.jpg?1482887266)
Galen is an innkeep, a humble man who cares about his work and his patrons.
He also lives on the edge of a haunted forest.
One inhabited by a fell wizard far too many of his guests are intent to meet.
Despite Galen's warnings and admonitions, most travelers passing through his doors only stay long enough to ask a few questions before entering the dark wood.
Far too few come back.
These are the tales of some of those adventurers who return.
These are the tales of those Galen wishes had never left his door.
He also lives on the edge of a haunted forest.
One inhabited by a fell wizard far too many of his guests are intent to meet.
Despite Galen's warnings and admonitions, most travelers passing through his doors only stay long enough to ask a few questions before entering the dark wood.
Far too few come back.
These are the tales of some of those adventurers who return.
These are the tales of those Galen wishes had never left his door.
Octopocalypse
![Picture](/uploads/1/2/4/1/12414378/8293686.jpg?250)
Some say the world will end in fire and ash, others frost and ice, still others dust and dissolution.
I say it will end in tentacles.
Lots of tentacles.
Contagion
![Picture](/uploads/1/2/4/1/12414378/4978635.jpg?250)
He woke to a dying world.
AI’s failing.
Datastreams withering.
The Verse crumbling.
Populations shattered.
Civilizations lost.
And his thoughts were on his lost love.
He had every right to be selfish.
His self was all he had left.
The nanoswarms had taken everything else.
AI’s failing.
Datastreams withering.
The Verse crumbling.
Populations shattered.
Civilizations lost.
And his thoughts were on his lost love.
He had every right to be selfish.
His self was all he had left.
The nanoswarms had taken everything else.
Questions, to join new book release sign up list, comments, suggestions, and (somewhat) considered opinions: info (at) josephjbailey.com
Disclosures:
Some links on this site may be affiliate links. We may get paid if you buy something or take an action after clicking one of these links.
For example, this site is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.
Thank you for helping support our site through these links!
This website uses marketing and tracking technologies. Opting out of this will opt you out of all cookies, except for those needed to run the website. Note that some products may not work as well without tracking cookies.
Opt Out of Cookies